


pink flats.

by softsuns



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Also #bigmood, Alternate Universe - Ballet, And i love yeri so much too, F/F, I love seulgi so much, Sehun and yeri love each other so much i love best friends:( fuck, Seulgi is just a honeymuffin:(, Unrequited Love, Yeri struggles with knowing what to do with her life???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-02-01 01:43:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12694455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softsuns/pseuds/softsuns
Summary: yeri struggles with ballet and her feelings for seulgi.





	pink flats.

_kim yerim has been dancing since the early age of four. the young girl had been walking down the streets, tiny fingers wrapped around her babysitter's much bigger hand. they both enjoyed the busy streets of paris, they had watched a movie earlier that day and now were walking home. it was a nice day, sunny yet chilly so yerim wore her pink coat and her matching pink flats. she doesn't remembers much after, all she does recall is plastering her face on the glass and watching the elegant ballerinas prance from side to side. they wore pink, like her._

_"look mai, they're wearing pink!" she shouts enthusiastically. her french almost perfect, she's still learning her words and tweaking them out. her palms are glued on the clean window and her dark brown eyes are sparkling like stars in the sky. she's watching the look line of females, dancing to their hearts' content. she's mesmerized, the outfits, the tutus and she's caught in the feeling. her heart feels as happy as it does when it's christmas._

_"they are, yerim." her babysitter asks and she says, "do you like it?"_

_"i do! i wanna!" she says and the words are slurring. she's too excited to deal with anything right now._

_when yerim walked in, she couldn't stop scanning the place. it was quite small, but it reeked of comfort. the dance instructor had caught sight of her and complimented her, saying how pretty her flats were. she was beaming, glad with the sudden attention and she was happy. the dance instructor is really pretty too. she can't stop staring at her crescent for eyes and how her entire face lights up._

_"what may i do for you, little princess?" the stranger asks and her words are tender. she's too young to see how mai swoons because she's too focused on the dancing, the routine that has the tutus flowing and she's catching every single facial expression. they were beautiful. her heart is bounding in her ears and she wants this. she really wants to dance._

_and she did._

"good morning, yeri." the instructor said. the same instructor that gave her beautiful smile at the age of four. the same instructor that's raised yeri as if she's her own sister. her name's tiffany and she's probably the most beautiful woman in the world. she still looks the same, even though she's peeking thirty. yeri is unsure how but she won't ask.

"good morning, fany." yeri greets back. she's stretching, legs pulled apart and her chest pressed between them. her black one piece clings to her body and she's too sweaty, too tired and too sore. it's not her first time doing a play this hard. but she's still tired of so much movement.

"still sore?" she asks and yeri laughs. she can't exactly nod.

"you have no idea."

tiffany clicks her tongue tongue, "well. if anybody can do this, it's you. have you heard back from the university?" she asks and yeri's silence breeches the room. they both know it's a yes. any ballet university would be blessed to have yeri, yet she's the one holding back. something has been tugging her mind a little harshly and she can't get it out her head. a desire to do something different. a new hobby.

"i haven't exactly made up my mind. i still feel weird." yeri comments. weird isn't even close. she feels like her world is shutting down and she can't do anything but watch. since her birthday last year, she's been wondering about life without ballet directing it. a life without tutus and strict diets. she's been wondering too much and curiosity has blossomed a flower in the middle of her chest. she labelled it as a itch for independence, but yeri has been living by herself since the age of seventeen. it's not that.

tiffany wants to drop her hand on her shoulder, give her a warm smile but she can't. not in this position. "whatever you decide to do, i'll support you. even if it's not here." and yeri knows what her last lingering words mean. even if it's not with ballet. she knows that though. tiffany slowly turns more and more into her mother.

"thank you, tiffany. i appreciate it greatly." yeri says and that's the end of their conversation. other students pile in and yeri finally stands up. she greets a few with a smile, not exactly being a people person before her eyes land on seulgi. seulgi gives her a smile and her eyes shy away, heart thumping in her chest. she's liked seulgi since forever. it was a baby crush, something small.

if truth be told, yeri didn't even know how she liked her. seulgi was horrible at ballet, it wasn't her forte. but she'd often try her best her pretty long brown hair in a bun and her lips slicked with lip gloss. maybe that's why yeri liked her so much. or it could be her pretty smile, when she'd giggle and cover her mouth. oh god, she really liked her.

"good morning, yeri!" she says too brightly and snaps yeri out of her trance. seulgi's smile is too bright, her eyes crinkled and she's like a little kid on christmas' morning. yeri's heart is thumping and she genuinely can't believe this girl is real.

"good morning, sluggie." yeri greets back, the nickname everybody seemed to call her. her cheeks are budding rose and she's trying to not focus on the bright girl beside her. she looks at her flats, focusing on the pretty bow and she's trying to swallow the nerves down. god, she really does like seulgi.

so much for baby crush.

she quietly curses seulgi's soft heart. she didn't want company right now. she wants to dance for three hours, head home and drop herself on her couch. but she isn't going to push seulgi away. especially not with her pretty smile.

"good morning, yeri. how are you feeling today?" she asks, practicing her almost perfect french and yeri actually swoons. when they first met and yeri confessed she was born in paris, seulgi took it upon herself to learn french. her parents had let yeri go with tiffany when tiffany sung that she was leaving. so much for good parenting.

"i'm fine." she replies, trying to add a smile on her end. "how are you?"

"i'm a little tired, i had to work last night." seulgi says and she shoves her hands in her cute jacket.

"you're still at the bakery?" yeri questions but she knows the answers. yes, she is. yeri and sehun had visited the bakery after a hunt for golden flats. when yeri saw seulgi attending, she had begged sehun to order in her place.

"mhm, you should pass by. christmas is coming and i'm going to make some sugarplum princess cookies." seulgi offers and before yeri can agree, the class is starting and the other girls are settling behind them she's left with the words on her tongue and her stomach drops when seulgi goes to stand with yooa.

"good morning, yeri!" saeron greets, rushing over and yeri is suddenly glad that she's there with her. saeron and her were nothing more than casual friends, occasionally chatting and going shopping together. nothing really in depth between them.

"good morning, sae." she says, trying to stay positive but she's already caught note of yooa and seulgi. they haven't stopped talking, eyes gleaming with happiness and she can't help but assume that they're together.  which is great. seulgi deserved happiness. but she was also kind of upset, hurt the other didn't like her.

"hey--" saeron says and interrupts her thoughts. "come on, focus. they don't matter right now. it's just you and the music."

yeri nods as she hears tiffany starting to talk. saeron has a point. it isn't time to mope. after all, she's still trying to find her purpose with the music. "thank you, sae." she smiles and the other kisses her forehead.

"you're always welcome."

after the lession-- the youngest of the two stays. she didn't pick up any of the steps, she's too focused with her brain and with the current situation unfolding. she lets the music picks up and she's trying. but she's still unfocused. she genuinely doesn't know why. her movements are lazy, they're almost tired. her arms simply can't sync with her legs and she's so glad that everybody had left her alone. she's confused and angry. why can't she stop thinking about seulgi? her stupid unresponsive crush. it wasn't important.

_"hey, i brought you this. i thought you may like it." she remembers. it was the midst of december, a haunting cold was hitting the dance studio and everybody was practically frozen. seulgi had brought two cups of hot chocolate, one for herself and one for yeri. it made butterflies float on her skin._

_"oh... you didn't have to! but thank you." yeri thanks, taking the drink and she catches notice of the handwritten yeri on the foam cup. she smiles sweetly, making her way towards tiffany's office to gush about the last moment between the both of them. (if it wasn't sehun, it was often tiffany.)_

_"it's a rainy day, take my umbrella." seulgi says, taking notice of how yeri had been watching the grey sky for a count of five minutes. the other is shocked nonetheless, not expecting seulgi to offer her umbrella. let alone notice that she was waiting for the rain to slow down._

_"oh... thank you!"_

yeri stumbles in the middle of her perfect intent and she's now frustrated with herself. she genuinely doesn't know why she's sitting in the middle of the practice room. the music doesn't enter her head anymore, it doesn't make her feet move anymore and she feels aggression instead of the usual calm and she's too close to tears. too close. she doesn't know why it doesn't work anymore, how she dances and it feels monotone.

"we all have flat days." tiffany had said when yeri had brought it to her attention last year. but this was more than a simple flat day. she didn't want to grab her pair of flats anymore. she's tired of her hair in buns, she's tired of it all. she wants to lay back, live her life, devote herself to something other than dancing. she wants to take a break-- for a while. she wants to dance for a hobby, not for a living.

"god." she sighs out, feeling the destruction in the tip of her fingers. she's really angry, beyond angry. she wants to smash every single mirror in the dancing room because she knows that it's fixable. her parents had enough money to cover anything tiffany asked for. but they couldn't cover this emptiness. everything was such a void, she did ballet as a child because it filled her with the wonders that her family did not. but now ballet was falling flat and she wanted something else. at least for now.

the door was slammed open and she looked back. she could see both yooa and seulgi, their fingers interlaced, lips slick with saliva and she felt even more bad. yeri looked away, stomach pitting with regret as she stands up. she doesn't want to be noticed by seulgi nor her girlfriend- or fuck buddy, or whatever they were. (hopefully they were nothing and yeri was just crazy.)

"oh, yeri! it's late, why aren't you home?" seulgi asks and yeri heart tugs slightly. this was her home. but literally speaking, she hadn't been home all day. she had spent her day and tried to sore her feet.

"i was just practicing, i'm leaving now." yeri says and her words are rushed. you could hear the frustration in her voice. she rushes to her bag, stuffing her hoodie and her cellphone quickly. she's so close to the tears that she can't hold it in anymore and she really doesn't want to be caught by both of them. that'd be too embarassing for her. she had pride.

"wait, are you okay? yooa asks and yeri bites her lower lip, trying not to spew out everything she's feeling. yooa and her were almost like saeron and her, casual friends. they had periods where they drifted, made other friends but soon after came together. but right, yeri didn't want it.

"i'm fine. just really tired." she lies through her teeth. her bag is slung over her shoulder and she's trying to keep her brain intact as she makes her way towards the door.

"call me if you need anything." she adds but she doesn't take it to heart. she doesn't want to take it to heart. she knows yooa is a good person and that seulgi deserves somebody as good as her. but her heart didn't understand and she genuinely just wants seulgi to like her back. it wasn't that difficult.

yeri's bag is slung over her shoulder as she reaches for her phone. she was about to call sehun to tell him to set some cheese and wine out, she was going to drink her mind tonight-- she usually didn't get drunk, a daily glass of wine did nothing to her system but today she really wanted to. she unlocked her phone but heard somebody coming close.

"yeri, wait up." seulgi calls out and she's trying to run as quick as possibly. yeri furrows her eyebrows together and looks at her, lip tucked in between her teeth as she waits for what the other could possibly want. she really didn't need this right now.

"i... are you really okay? you were acting weird during practice and i know you're usually kept to yourself but i'm really worried about you. you're like a sister to me and i genuinely wouldn't want anything happening to you." seulgi says, trying her hardest to comfort her and she's rubbing her shoulder with affection.

a sister.

yeri blinks, trying to analyze her words in a subtle way. "a sister?"

"yeah, a sister."

she scoffs, hurt crossing her chest and she's over her limit. she doesn't mean to snap at her. she really doesn't. but there's too much hurt, so much confusion that she only pops off. "a sister?-- seulgi, for fucking god's sake. i like you. i like you a lot, oh my god. i've liked you for so damn long. i've been pinning for you months on end. god, i feel pathetic..." she trails off, blinking through her tears. "i've had a really bad day, seulgi. i've been having a really bad month. i think... i'm just going to go home. i'm sorry." she says and stumbles out of the ballet house. trying not to cry on her way back.

arriving to her flat took no more than twenty minutes. but she didn't want to go home. she wanted to wonder and get lost in the sea of people. heartbreak suck. not knowing shit about your future hurts. this stung than anything. it stung more than anything in this entire world. yeri did cry on her way home. her tears got away and she couldn't believe the fact that she was crying in public. not that anybody seemed to care.

the nineteen year old lived in a very nice flat. it was a really early graduation present. a really early one to be exact, she's been living there since the broad age of fiteen. it has two bedrooms, a dancing room, two bathrooms and a beautiful terrace. the girl remembers the loneliness that crept her soul when she was first started living here... but then came oh sehun.

"yeri, is that you?" sehun calls from the kitchen as she opens the door. the smell of food invades her fragile body and she now realizes how she's been runnin on an empty stomach. that explains the massive headache.

"hey sehun." she answers back quietly. she didn't feel like her usual bubbly self tonight, all she wanted was a little bit of silence and some food. she hears the clank of the spoon as she sets her shoes to the side. her pretty pink flats were right next to his boots and she smiles, a small tug in her chest. she loves her best friend. she really does.

"how are you feeling today?" he asks and she only sighs, following his voice to the kitchen. he's leaning over the counter, cutting some lettuce and setting it along with the cooking meat. there's a small plate of cheese and two tall glasses of wine waiting. she furrows her eyebrows, confused. she didn't call him.

"you set the wine and cheese. did i call you?" she asks and sehun shakes his head. still focused on the meat.

"no, you didn't. but i know when my best friend is upset. now come on, it's your favorite." he says and this time he's pulling away from the stove. he reaches for the wine glasses as yeri makes herself comfortable on the nearest stool. soon after came the cheese.

"i feel like shit today, sehun." she starts, "i've genuinely had better days. i mean it. i was having a mental crisis or an existencial crisis and then yooa walks in with seulgi. which is amazing. simply fantastic. i'm at the verge of tears and they both walk in. i practically shove myself out of the room. seulgi follows me and says she cares for me as a sister! which results in me going off and confessing my feelings for her. then i hit the subway and i cried on it. which is fantastic too. then i stepped on some gum. i really want to take a long ass shower, eat whatever you're making and just sleep." she says and she's rambling as she stuffs cheese in her mouth. sehun is almost immune to her habits by this point.

"well, before you get to hear my cracked wisdom. you need some more wine. you can't do anything with half a glass." he says, a smile drawn on his face and he manages to make yeri smile as he brings the bottle of wine. "also, some beef. i saw some recipes online that i wanted to try. there's also some cakes in the fridge if you want to dive into them late." he offers.

"i just--- sehun, it's so hard. i don't know anymore. tiffany says that she's gotten those in the past but that it's gone in the midst of days. i've been feeling this way since last year... i-- i love ballet, i do. god, more than anything. but it's just time to let it go. at least for a while." she sighs in both distress and content. she hates how she's feeling, but this sweet wine soothes her. she really loves the taste of grapes on her tongue.

"have you spoke with her? when's your next class?" he asks, "listen to me, yeah? you know what i'd do? i'd quit ballet. i'd apologize to seulgi and fucking get a tattoo. also go to a stripclub. relief myself from some of that stress. and then find something that soothes you for a while. something that's going to fill the void until you find your passion again."

after a night of drinking their ass off and eating too much cheese, she decides to follow his advice. she sleeps in the next morning and when she finally manages to wake up, she's sitting in tiffany's office and she's staring right at her. she can't stop fiddling with her pretty floral skirt as she waits for her to react.

"you're quitting?" she asks and she's careful with her words. she doesn't think she's heard her properly. but she did so yeri nods.

"i'm not really quitting, tiffany... you know how much i've devoted to this? i've been doing this for so long, so long that i see itself in my life. but not right now... i'm taking a long break. maybe a few breaks. i just, i need to really find the person who i am." yeri says and she's staring right at her. "i've devoted my life to ballet. i want to find out who i am, tiff. i know people usually relate me to this ballet freak who does ballet in her sleep but god, that's not true. you know what i did when i got home last night? i drank too much wine once i got home. i ate too much cheese. i want to be myself... do you understand what i'm saying?"

tiffany processes her words and yeri is too nervous right now. she exhales because she understands every single word. "i get what you mean... but know that you have talen and i won't let it go to waste, okay? but know that before being yeri, the ballet princess. you're the little girl i took under my wing and made my little sister. so, please-- please be careful with what you do. i love you, okay? please keep in touch."

yeri smiles faintly. and after a few more minutes of enthusiastic talking, the girl is out of the door. she's feeling lighter, thankful that tiffany understood the rough position she was in. but there was something weighting her down still and she genuinely hoped that seulgi was somewhere around. she had to apologize but she wasn't going to pester her.

the girl hears music coming from the practice and she's surprised at the song. it isn't their usual soft melodies and calming boleros, it's somewhat rougher and quicker. it sounds like something out of a movie where they're all street dancers and they're all in a dark ally exposing their moves. yeri blinks but finds herself following the music, wanting to see who in their right mind would be playing that when the queen of ballet was sitting so close.

she peeks through the glass door and she catches sight of the familiar body. her movements are rough, they're bold and they're great at the same time. yeri thinks they're great because of the look of determation etched on seulgi's face. she's sweating like crazy, pushing herself over the limit and she's really into it. the blonde smiles faintly, not expecting the other to be dancing. but she decides to give her privacy, turning around and soon leaving the long hall.

as she's walking away, she hears the bold music stop and a slam of a door. she hums acknowledging but then she hears a familiar, "yeri, wait."

and so she waits.

seulgi lets a relief sigh, she's thankful that the other stopped in her tracks. yeri catches notice of her outfit and she didn't even know seulgi owned muscle tees. her hair is pulled in the messiest bun and there's sweat trickling down her body still.

"hi," is the first thing she says when they're face to face. yeri actually laughs.

"hi."

"how are you?" seulgi asks, as per usual.

"i'm doing better than last night. but i have to talk to you, if you don't mind." yeri starts, taking seulgi's silence as approval to continue. "i wanted to apologize to you... for how i snapped last night, you know? i promise i wasn't mad at you. nothing that was bothering me was your fault. i'm not really good with apologies, but i want you to know that i am sorry. i wanted to say that before i left. i... actually want us to be friends."

she's actually proud of her apology. she smiles in truimph and she takes notice of seulgi's etched eyebrows, her face spilling confusion to the max. "left, are you going to university already?" 

yeri shakes her head at the question, "no... no, i'm taking a break from the ballet studio for a while. i want to do my own thing, you know? maybe get a job. hate my life. who knows?" she shrugs.

seulgi doesn't believe her, she opens her mouth and yeri stops her. she knows what she's going to say. "don't dare apologize. it's not because of you. i wouldn't quit ballet cause of a broken heart." she says cooly and she's actually surprised at how easy the words are flowing from her mouth. "but i am trying to find myself and i'd really appreciate your friendship. if that's cool with you." yeri says and seulgi nods, a bit speechless at her words. this has been the most.

"good. now, sehun is waiting for me outside. i'll see you soon, alright? feel free to ask tiffany for my number, big sister." yeri once again says and she pats her skirt down, trying to stop the vile that's threatening to come out her mouth. she hates calling seulgi her sister, but she's trying to forget her feelings for her as soon as possible. sehun agreed, saying that they're going shopping as a celebratory gift. (yeri is actually proud of herself for not crying once. her mascara is still intact.)

"take care, kim yerim." seulgi says, finally closing the conversation.

"i will and also... don't let that talent go to waste, yeah? freestyling ballet is better than ballet seulgi." she teases for one last time and seulgi laughs at her words.

"yeah, i agree."


End file.
